Pretending to be a wallflower
"He's a wallflower. You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand."
-- Stephen Chbosky, The perks of Being a Wallflower
This world is absurd in its totality. But you can find meaning, when you look at this life in its singularity. It needs a minute observation. But there is a meaning to the absurdity.
Sometimes no matter how much you try to shout the meaning behind life, no matter how much you try to present your hypothesis about why this world is such, mere words can never express your thoughts.
I often wonder what's the use of being social in this world. What's the use of letting other people know of your existence. What difference would it make in one's life. You live in this world, make family and friends. Work hard. Earn money. Have children. Grow old and die. You at the end become null. A void. Your presence would thus slowly fade away. And the world would thus continue its absurdity without your presence.
And the above statement is presented on the assumption that there is no afterlife, no hell and heaven, no ghosts and spirits.
If you are lucky enough to have a sound sleep, do you realize how much it resembles death? While being asleep, you become unaware of yourself and your surrounding. You cannot even think of waking up. that there is a world after your sleep. As if that sleep is what permanence is. Waking up from it doesn't even come to our mind.
And this is why, sometimes I prefer solitude amidst the crowd. And that is why, sometimes I pretend to be a wallflower. To be aware of my surrounding, to realize that I am alive now, and will die any time soon. To observe things including myself. To remain silent, never uttering a word, even a sigh and continue observing the world until I find meaning to the absurdity.
And hence if you fail to notice a wallflower in the crowd, take a breath, pause your life and see your surrounding. There will be a few wallflowers standing / sitting motionless around you. Observing things silently.