The second chapter
Rigidity of beliefs is thought to be a character of a strong mind. I have seen people sticking to a particular belief system through out their life. In fact the beliefs are given names in the philosophy. The belief in non existence of god is one such among countless other far more interesting beliefs. Beliefs can be comorbid as well. The belief in one god for example can co exist with the belief in protection of cows or there can be another god the belief in whom can prohibit one from consuming pork.
My blog had a different name in the past. It was called as " The musings of an atheist ". I wrote some articles under that name because I had a belief in the non existence of god. To me it was always a binary way of living with a belief. The faith and belief in god was one such topic which had been a central theme in my mind. I couldn't accept the existence of god and hence I had given a zero binary digit to theism which as a complimentary became one as a binary opinion to atheism.
Life has many dimensions, I agree. But I fail to see those many. Perhaps I have a narrow mind to take in that many dimensions. However the thing with atheism was leading me to a constant negative view towards life. It became an entry point to nihilism.
The blog had been a mouthpiece to my thoughts and the nihilism led me to abandon it. The want to write something had no longer any meaning. What is the meaning to anything if after all we all are destined to die.
But is that a way to live life? I refuse to fall into this darkness. The belief I hold onto should not be a rigid one. I cannot remain a bhakt of this emptiness, this meaninglessness, this atheism.
The existence of god should not be a central theme to my existence. Only a stupid can stay adherent to one dimensional life and stupid is as stupid does. I don't care anymore about the existence or non existence of him because of whom some have to complain about a noisy environment during the morning hours.
I let myself to be a puppet of that unknown loser.