Being a Dexter and the four agreements

Hostel life is a period when a person gets influenced a lot by his peers. I had a lot of ups and downs during that period, lots of learning and unlearning and plenty of interesting and ugliest discussions. I got into oodles of addictive habits during my stay, one of which was binge watching British and American TV series.

I got hooked to several TV series and even Japanese anime. I loved watching Narutto, the anime series. However, one series which still remains my favorite is Dexter. Dexter Morgan is a blood splatter analyst in forensic department by day time and a serial murderer by the night time. But he is not our usual serial killer. He quenches his urge of killing people by only killing the serial killers. Yes he is a serial killer of serial killers. Amazing, isn't it?

Dexter suffers from that urge of killing. You know, people have urges. Some have sexual urges, some have monetary urges, some have controlling urges and some have Godly urges. Urges, whether good or bad, do not lead one to a meaningful life, according to me. Dexter knew his urge of killing people, even the serial killers, would not lead him to a pleasant state of well being.

So, to curb his urges, he got himself a set of code of conducts. You see, a set of rules which he would follow each and every time, whether it is to kill a killer or to talk to his dear ones or to behave with his colleagues. He always followed the rules set by himself. No, he wasn't shown to be religious, although he encountered many serial killers who were religious, ironically.

That's why I loved watching that series. I always wanted to have certain rules of my own to follow in every situation. I am not a religious person to abide by the rules set down by the mystical Gods nor am I a social person to follow societal norms but still I wanted to have some rules to follow so as to not get into any sort of trouble.

I think the biggest problem an atheist can face and the strongest argument a theist can present is the so called  lack of morality. They think that if one doesn't believe in God (say doesn't fear God) then killing someone, stealing from someone and indulging in other anti-social activities becomes easier for that person.

As if believing in God has stopped people from killing each other! Such a hypocrisy, I tell you.

Anyway, all that I wanted was to have a set of rules so that I can have my own definition of morality so as to live in peace. While searching for recommendations on Goodreads, I came upon this book which is named as The four Agreements: A practical guide to personal freedom.

No I didn't impulsively purchase the book, for everything which you would need to know from the book was given in the description itself. It talked about four core agreements which you should make a deal with yourself to achieve personal peace and freedom. These four agreements are:

  1.  Be impeccable with your words: Speak with honesty and integrity. Speak less but exactly what you want to convey, without any fear of prejudice, abuses and counter attacks. Speak nothing wrong about anyone, because others shouldn't mean anything to you and your personal peace and happiness.
  2. Don't take anything personally: I practice this one quite often. Why should I even bother about what others talk about me and think about me. This journey that I am taking on this earth doesn't depend on anyone or anything. It is my personal journey, if you want to be a part of it then fine with me; if you want to part away from me, then more than fine with me; if you want to throw stones at me, then be prepared for an equivalent retaliation but that's because you would hinder my journey and not because I have taken things personally.
  3. Don't make assumptions: Okay, I do make assumptions. I have a thinking mind! What do you expect me to do with that. Of course it would make assumptions, hypothesis, deductions and conclusions without any solid evidences or facts. But what I do with the conclusion is something that I need to have a control on. There is a difference in making assumptions and in falling prey to that assumption. So I do not agree with this one.
  4.  Always do your best: Ah! this is the best one so far. I so much agree with this agreement. In Bhagwat Gita there is a shloka which mentions a similar philosophy : karmanye vadhikaraste ma faleshu kadachana. Do your work, you have the right to work, but never do it thinking about the fruits borne due to it. Okay, that shloka has different interpretations but what I believe is that one should do his best in the things he like doing or in the things he has to do without getting attached to that stupid thing. Why get attached to things when you have to die and leave that thing on this stupid earth. You will be so dead that you will even forget about your existence, forget about that thing.
I do think that one has to have sound beliefs, ideologies and core philosophies to survive in this meaningless world else as Albert Camus, the proponent of absurdism, says there won't be any difference to having a cup of coffee and hanging yourself from the ceiling fan.


  1. It was nice reading about human urges. People live by their urges and think that life becomes meaningful because of them. But as you said, no, life only becomes busy enough to shut out the need for further meaning, real meaning.

    In today's world, the urges have become limited, I think. Just money, sex, food and a few other quotidian things. No wonder you find a lot of bored and boring people around.

    1. Don't you think most of them do not want to come out of those urges? They are cowards who seek comfort in their urges. They are afraid of facing absurdity.

      They just need to look at themselves from above at what they are doing is nothing different than any other animals albeit in a more capable way. That they seek comfort in a cage of urges, which ironically they call as freedom, makes them boring.

  2. nice write up dear friend!
    we usually get the logic of morality behind a person's beliefs. the so called religious people seemed to be pseudo moralists. i personally do believe it should come from our inner self not from the social conditioning. because what society think cannot be true all the time.

    and yes most of the religious people are God fearing, why would a person a be afraid of anything if he is religious in true sense? i don't see any virtue in god fearing, no point at all!

    1. Glad to see you here Vikram, Zorba the Buddha. I do read your posts and appreciate your thoughts.

      Morality is as personal as the belief in anything. Morality defined by the society can never be the truest form. This topic on morality has a lot of depth in it. The things which is moral to me may not be moral to you, or the things moral to us may not be moral to the society and even the things moral to the society at this time may not be so in the future

      A person will never be in fear, never be in self doubt and in a confinement of laid down rules if he finds a true religion. And I believe a true religion is something which should also be a personal one, tailored to meet the self liberation and in tune with the definition of self morality.


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